Cocooning, Coffee Bar, Carrot Cake Recipe
Thank you for reading this blog I write at a human pace :-)
An Update from Me
It’s been a few months since I announced on Instagram that I am taking an indefinite hiatus to devote myself full-time to healing my body and spirit from some honestly, really difficult circumstances. I have really felt like a pupa in a cocoon. Looking like I’m doing nothing from the outside, while some really intense stuff is going on inside. This transformation has been so tough, but I am happy to report that I am making big strides with a lot of support from my loved ones and commitment on my end!
I’d be lying if I said that finding my way back into the pastry studio didn’t feel heavy and traumatic at first. I used to make 200 pieces of pastry for pop-ups by myself in the hey days of Rad Joy. There was so much life and love and passion put into that work. I truly wanted to make things that were amazing and fresh and special in every way. But, truly, it almost killed me. And so I have learned that I had to not just move forward with intention (that’s always been my strong suit), but to also give myself space and time grieve what my life used to look like.
I spent some time fighting myself and crying in this studio, but it is starting to look and feel different in a way that I really needed. There used to be stainless steel benches here, but I switched them out to be more multi-purpose. I won’t gatekeep — the IKEA BROR system was perfect for this. ← Not an affiliate link, I simply really like it haha.
This space now has a dual function of operating as a coffee bar, appliance storage, and a place to sit and have some toast in the morning. One of my dreams has always been to have a little breakfast café, and in a way, it feels like I’ve built this corner to fulfill this dream. Just for me. Someone I may have forgotten to help feel special these last few years.
Earlier this month, we celebrated my dear friend Yo’s birthday. I wanted to make them feel special and have a dessert for our small group to enjoy together after dinner. I love the ritual. I was still in the tail end of my recovery and I had some kitchen help from another dear friend who is enthusiastic about baking. With just 5 hours until dinner time, I reminded myself that I do not need to spend 30 hours doing 15 techniques with a fully decorated layer cake.
I used to feel suspicious about the simpleness of single-layer cakes, but these days, I am humbled and open-minded enough to consider them a delicious category of baked good in their own right. I hope you’ll also bake something simple and wholesome that feels good for you, the maker of such joy, this spring.
We used a treasured gift of panela (whole, unrefined, cane sugar) and Guatemalan cardamom pods picked straight from my friends’ farms back home. They run Anticonquista Cafè, and you should totally visit them at their gorgeous new space in Pilsen! You’ll be blown away by the heart that goes into their beverages, food, and mission.
